Yesterday most of the United States woke up with an hour’s less sleep and a whole lotta “wow, I wish I could have that hour of sleep back!” I happened to be on Day 4 of a four-day, intensive training that left me in all ways scraping the bottom of the resource barrel. Last night, as I finally crawled into bed, visions of peaceful sleep in my head, that thing happened….

You know the thing where you don’t have many hours to sleep, so you climb into bed, snuggle down in the covers, curl up into your favorite sleep position, adjust the pillows just so, let out a deep sigh, close your eyes, and then…..open them back up to see it’s been an hour already because your brain has been screaming so loudly for you to go to sleep, it’s kept you awake!!

Or maybe that’s just me. =)

As I was driving the 25 miles back home from my office today, a bit later than usual, and for the second time, because the first time I forgot my laptop – I began to hear the old, familiar inner critic, who had apparently just been waiting for a chance to take the stage and remind me of all the things I could or should have done differently today to maximize my effort and economize my time. Such a pesky little brain squatter! More often than not, she shows up when I’m really tired and don’t have much left in the tank, and thankfully, I’ve gotten much better at recognizing her voice and it doesn’t take too much time before I can drop the curtain and politely ask her to leave.

When the time changes back in half a year, we will “fall back”, and doesn’t that have such a gentle, autumnal sound to it? We pick back up the lost hour of sleep, and the earth begins her cycles of letting go and deep renewal. No wonder I love fall so much!

But, “spring forward” does just what it says….when that clock changes we are catapulted into the future like a toy pull-back car you give a few backward tugs and then let go to watch it race across the floor, or maybe off the table where it would inevitably meet the floor in a tinkly metal crash. We eventually get used to the “spring” effect, and then get to enjoy a joyous season of growth and new birth. But until then….it can be a little foggy and a lot fatigue-y and it can leave us more vulnerable to those parts of ourselves who aren’t quite ready to smell the daffodils.

I often wonder how Jesus handled the pesky inner squatters that had to have been a part of his very human existence. I wonder if he ever had those moments when he may have questioned how he was communicating God’s message, if he ever doubted whether his disciples were really comprehending enough or if they were prepared enough, or if he wondered if he would be strong enough to see the plan all the way through to the end when he was so very tired…and weak…and broken…

I truly believe he did….and he knows how very human we are as well! Jesus’ answer to pretty much any time he began to feel off-center or less than fully connected to God was to get alone and pray, taking time, not because it was the “right” thing to do but because it was the only way to regroup and gain the needed strength to keep going.

In time, most of us will have fully-sprung, but the past couple of days have been a great reminder of the body/mind/spirit connection and how fatigue can wreak havoc with our head and heart. Such a comfort to know that God knows and loves all of our parts (even the groggy ones!)

Nite nite…..

Shellie