It’s been a day!
It started with a tidy, optimistic to-do list and enough time to do it all quite easily. Sure, you have to plan for contingencies, but I am nothing if not flexible, thank you very much. =)
I’m sure you can imagine where this is going already, and I’ll spare the nitty gritty details of detours, set-backs, longer-than-anticipated meetings, technology glitches, back-to-back calls (can a girl get a bathroom break?!), a forgotten lunch date, trains for days and the statistical anomoly of catching every single red light the entire way to meet my gracious friend who was kind enough to order lunch for me.
There was no one thing that was “wrong” today – it’s just that most of it wasn’t on my tidy, optimistic to-do-list that I left with this morning! There were pivots to my pivots and I was in hyper-functioning mode (which is really just the cooler-sounding cousin to hyper-alertness.) So, I was doing all the things, I was getting it all done and more….just not in the orderly fashion that was according to plan.
And the funny thing is….I didn’t even realize all the tension I’d been accumulating through the day, until I sat down in this very chair in front of this very laptop (which may actually be smoking from so much use today) that I finally…finally….heard myself let out a deep sigh and let the feelings come. And because feelings can be very feel-y, there is now an impressive Leaning Tower of Kleenex to serve as a type of Ebenezer to commemorate not only the healing power of tears, but the faithfulness of God to be here in this moment as he has so, so many before.
It brings to mind my favorite lyrics from a beautiful song called Goodness of God (Jason Ingram, Brian Johnson, Ed Cash, Ben Fielding and Jenn Johnson) that puts my daily plans in perspective:
I love You, Lord
For Your mercy never fails me
All my days, I’ve been held in Your hands
From the moment that I wake up
Until I lay my head
Oh, I will sing of the goodness of God
I love Your voice
You have led me through the fire
In the darkest night
You are close like no other
I’ve known You as a Father
I’ve known You as a Friend
And I have lived in the goodness of God
And all my life You have been faithful
And all my life You have been so, so good
With every breath that I am able
Oh, I will sing of the goodness of God
There’s never been a day in my life that hasn’t been held in God’s hands – He isn’t concerned about getting all the things done in my life according to my plans (thankfully!) God’s voice has led me through the fire in the darkest night, and just remembering that brings waves of gratitude for the very average and normal day that today actually was.
Ever have a day that feels bigger and harder than it really is? I think we all have from time to time, and it’s just life! Honestly, the best answer, or spiritual pivot, if you will that I’ve found to a day like this is to settle my heart by looking back and reminding myself of the never-ending, all-encompassing, ever-faithful goodness of God. Sometimes it helps to have a tool such as music, prayer, art, meditation, nature and scripture….or even creating your own Leaning Tower of Kleenex – whatever brings release and helps you to recall all the ways God has held you in the past – to bring hope and assurance that he’s in every part of every day (including this one!), and he’s not going anywhere.
What a difference a devotion can make! In the time it’s taken to form these thoughts into words, my heart has lightened, and the heaviness of the day has lifted. Gratitude brings perspective, which shines truth into the darkness, which leads to freedom.
Part of why this season of Lent means so much to me is because it causes me to daily, intentionally slow down, unclench my hands and open my heart to the voice of God.
What about you? What is this rhythm meaning to you on Day 9? I’d love to hear it!