(Original Post 3/24/2012 – Reposted 3/22/2021)
I really can’t explain the peace and soul-rest that I find here, and when I try it only frustrates me when people agree that it’s a beautiful area – as though it’s just one of many – therefore they clearly don’t understand how special it is to me….and I can’t blame them. It’s indefinable and mysterious…..I just know that it feels like home for my spirit, and I’m so glad, if only to be experiencing it from the window of my room today, that I am here.
I’ve arranged the table so that I’m looking out on beautiful pine trees and the mountain range beyond. There’s snow on the ground and the most heavenly breeze is floating in through the open window. Bliss!
And this is the conversation I have with myself.
Thank you God, for the cool breeze…I didn’t even know how uncomfortable I was until I opened that window!
OK, Shellie….you don’t have much time….think!” (I spend another 30 seconds just staring out the window and enjoying the stillness and feel of the breeze, coming in slightly stronger gusts now.)
“Thank you, God…..for this moment….for this place. And thank you so much for the breeze…But I have a “journey of discipline and discovery” to tend to and not much time left. So…. can you help a daughter out, please?”
Once again I hear and see it before I feel it.
The sound of the pine branches and needles rubbing together to create a soft roaring sound as they dance and sway in the wind, and quite unexpectedly……there are tears welling up in my eyes, and I know—beyond any doubt—that God is here. And I have something to learn about breezes.
But today I am reminded about the rarely noticed, nuanced ways that God desires to speak to me….the “breezes” that provide instant refreshment and connection with the Spirit. I imagine God takes great care to follow after me, creatively pursuing a deeper relationship with me, and I am nearly undone with the thought of it.
Sometimes we aren’t even aware of how disconnected our souls can become.
And when we are aware, sometimes we only look for the “big answers”….the “big fix” to make it all OK again. But my lesson this day is that God is desiring something much more intimate….that it’s time to grow beyond the obvious moments of grace, and learn more about God’s heart.…and try to grasp that God truly wants to spend time with me….times of refreshment, instruction, and relationship.
God is so near, friends.
Even in breezes. =)