Day 16 ~ Letting Go

I’ve been observing the season of Lent for around 20 years now, and while each one has been unique, I definitely can say these times have deepened in meaning with the passing years. I’ve come to cherish the closeness that I feel to Jesus as I remember the last weeks of his life on earth and put myself in the story of being one who walked closely with him. To be honest, I usually find myself being annoyed and disappointed with his disciples and friends for their lightning-quick, about-face from “We’ll follow you anywhere!” to “I never knew him…” and always see myself as the one who wouldn’t run –  no matter how scared I got or how difficult the journey. I’m just so sure I would react differently!

So far, this season has been focused a lot on letting go – and it’s prompted me to take some time tonight to write a brand-spankin’ new post! (Also, I’m heading into a week of spring break before the mad dash to the end of another full semester and I’m a little drunk with freedom.)

So, this season of Lent I’ve been focused on letting go of things at home that I can either donate or dispose of. Each day I tackle a different area of the house to look through and decide what needs to stay and what can go, though not quite Marie Kondo status, asking if each thing brings me “joy”. (I can’t say the plunger really gives me JOY, but every home should probably have one!)

So, the first few days went pretty well – all I had to do was open the front hall closet which in our house is definitely the catch-all for stuff that exists in that holding pattern of “I think we should keep it” and “But where do we keep it?”, thus the bounty of easily accessible items to let go of!

But somewhere between gathering up the miscellaneous measuring spoons and never-read books something else has begun to happen, and it’s not altogether pleasant, but I know it’s definitely altogether good….

God’s been speaking to me about letting go of more than just stuff in my closets. More specifically, God’s been telling me it’s time to begin to let go of some of the attachments I’ve formed to things that make them so very hard to let go of and I’ve been trying to listen, but mostly I just want to pull out another candle-holder or old umbrella, put it in the donation box and call it a day.

And the more certain I am that this season of Lent is going to be about far more than letting go of stuff that’s cluttering up my living space, the more I have the urge to……run. There are boxes I’d rather not open that hold things I’d rather not face, and I can easily decide about cutlery, but don’t make me decide about things that have a vice-grip on my heart – those aren’t corners I think I’m ready to look in yet, God….

So, here I am…saying I’m a Jesus follower and yet wanting to run away from things that are unknown….and frightening….and suddenly I don’t feel so different from those who walked with Jesus after all.

I’m not sure what the next few weeks will hold but I know I don’t want to run from it, even if it’s just to take the next step. God and I came to an understanding long ago, that if I would just try, He would provide all I would need for any journey he would set my feet on. And you know what? He really, truly has!

This is big stuff for Day 16! But I’m choosing not to run from the hard stuff during this season of Lent. Maybe if we can do that, we really will be among those who stayed with Jesus until the end. I’d like to think so. =)

Faith over fear,

Shellie

About Shellie

Welcome ~ I am a mom, a wife, a friend, a sister, a daughter, a dreamer and a writer. But most of all I am a woman of faith - I have a deep longing to know and love....God.
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