*Full disclosure from the woman who ran all over the old city of Jerusalem today experiencing seven different sites and leaving a trail of prayer and tears at most of them (because, well, how could you not when it’s Jerusalem and Jesus was here and everything is incredibly meaningful and moving…..) that I may be just a tad bit exhausted and more than a tad bit emotional…so now ya know!

All along this amazing journey through the country of Israel I’ve felt the presence of God in a way I haven’t in a very long while. It will take some time to process what that means (because I’m nothing if not a proficient processor!) but what I can say now is that while there have been dozens of moments that will remain etched on my mind and heart for a lifetime there have also been a handful of very special encounters with God, one being today (thus the above disclosure.)

There’s a story recorded in the fifth chapter of the gospel of John that tells of a man who made his way to a place called the Pool of Bethesda in hopes of being healed.  As the story goes, the waters would be “stirred” periodically and the first one to enter the pool would receive healing. Pretty cool….unless you’re number two! For 38 years….thirty-eight YEARS, this man had been coming to the pool to be made well. Just let that sink in for a minute….is there anything you can even think of that you’ve wanted for that long?  So, into a decades-long story, Jesus showed up and asked this man a question that must have seemed a no-brainer to all who heard. He asked the man who for 38 years had sought healing,

“Do you want to get well?”

The man explained that he didn’t have anyone to help him get to the pool when the stirring of the water happened and someone always went in before him. Which…..really wasn’t an answer to the question, but Jesus simply told him to get up, pick up his 38-year -old mat and start walking. And he did. Whether he ernestly tried to reach the waters all those years or just liked hanging out in the pools I can’t really say, but as I stood above the ruins of the Pool of Bethesda this morning, none of that mattered to me. All that mattered as I spent some time at the place where a true miracle happened was that the question wasn’t only directed at the lame man at the Pool of Bethesda 2000 years ago…..it was also directed at me. I knew it was coming, it’s “the big question” in the story, but still….the power of it caught me off guard.

So here’s the thing, and if it’s a thing for me it’s probably a thing for some of you as well. =)

Sometimes it’s hard to let go of the things that can keep us from being well. We can wear hurt like an overcoat and hold onto pride, envy, unforgiveness…..all the things that we use as armour to keep us from facing our true fears. One of the lessons that I will need to take time to process is that there is a difference between the grief that will accompany me all of the remaining days of my life and all the other emotional highjackers that stick to grief like glue and try to convince me there’s nothing that can be done about it. And into the middle of this fresh revelation walks Jesus, looking me straight in the heart and asking if I would like to be well….

I found a corner of the courtyard facing a stone wall with tiny spring flowers filling in the cracks and cried heavy tears of true loss, but also relief for the new season I believe God is leading me into. I asked forgiveness for allowing so many negative thoughts and emotions to tag along with grief for too long now and mostly felt deep, deep gratitude for the love of a God who continues to hold and choose me over and over again and always will.

As our souls are “stirred” during this reflective time of lent, I do hope that we can lean into the lessons that God offers us, knowing that they are meant for our good and that sometimes healing comes by way of a good stirring.

Much Love,

Shellie ♥