2012….2015….2016….2019….and now, 2020.

Today begins the first day of the fifth year of walking this 40 day journey with God and also with you. How I’ve come to love and appreciate the dear community that always seems to gather around this little blog during the season of lent as we each set out on our own unique journey but also in comunity with one other. My heart is always drawn especially to those of you who are in hard, hurting places and it is with you in mind that I carefully write each word.

So, whether you are a friend of discoverlentwithme, or you’ve found your way here for the first time, with all my heart, I welcome you!

I’ve actually anticipated this day for months now, since my husband and I finalized arrangements to make the (literal) journey of a lifetime to the country of Israel and I realized the first five days of lent would be spent here. For 10 days now we’ve traveled up and down this beautiful country, soaking up the land and seas we’ve read about for so long and I don’t even know how to begin to talk about it yet….there’s still more to see and to do and to learn and to feel….but I can say that I’ve spent time in the wilderness with God, and I am forever changed.  

I started this blog in 2012 at a time in my life when I was searching for clear direction, and while it was a truly meaningful experience, the next series in 2015 found me in an entirely different place. I was still reeling from the loss of my son seven months earlier, and nearly losing my daughter in a car accident the year before that. I was technically living….my lungs continued to draw breath and my feet somehow kept taking the next steps but I had no idea where I was headed – and I found myself wandering around for a very long time. I had loved and served God my entire life and yet nothing had prepared me for these types of losses and though I never abandoned my faith….I surely didn’t recognize it the same way any longer. It had changed….I had changed….everything had changed….

Except God. =)

Much healing has come to this broken heart of mine and I have indeed discovered beauty among the ashes. As I’ve covered more and more distance since those early days of grief, I’ve realize that, just as the children of Israel didn’t wander without purpose in the wilderness, neither have I. Like a big “Where’s Waldo” map, I can see that what I’ve thought of as wandering has really led me straight to the One who has been calling me all along but I was too hurt, too angry and too afraid (and maybe even too stubborn) to listen. 

Jesus knows a thing or two about the wilderness – it was his own 40 days spent there that’s led to us reflecting on our own wilderness places during the 40 days of lent. He fasted and prayed alone, hungry, thirsty and bombarded with accusations and temptations that were as real to him as they would be to us. So whether you choose to “give up” something this lenten season is between you and God. But I would challenge all of us to take extra time between now and Easter to dive deeper – to pay attention to what the Spirit says to us, even if it’s not always what we want to hear. 

I don’t know where this might find you today, whether you’re in a wilderness of your own, or maybe you’re wondering what this whole Jesus thing is about and want to come along to find out. Or…..maybe you just want to grow deeper in relationship with the God who always finds us, no matter how far we wander. Whatever brought you here and for however long you remain, you are welcome and you are not alone.

Much love,

Shellie ♥