Have you ever really looked forward to something that you knew would be good – even great for you, but still found yourself hesitating? There are a few things like that in my life right now and this Lenten blog is one of them!

This is the fourth time I’ve committed to writing through the 40 days of Lent. The first time was in 2012, then again in 2015, and most recently in 2016. Each of those years stand out to me for very distinct reasons and each also summons a bucket-load of memories with a full range of emotions. They were hard years! And I found great comfort in having a place to share my heart, complete with authentic questions of faith. Yet through it all, even when all was dark and I struggled to find my way, there remained a deep, deep love for God – and God’s unrelenting love for me.

This year I am once again compelled to set off on another 40-day journey toward faith and healing, but it has a different feeling. There is a faith that digs deep in times of crisis and anchors us when the fiercest storms threaten to blow us clean away, and God knows I have experienced that faith. Then there is the kind of faith that is lived out in the day to day moments of our lives that may seem unremarkable yet holds the possibility of changing everything. There are seasons of healing that take time….sometimes so much time it seems like nothing is happening at all, and that calls for faith that settles in for the long winter. I think that’s where I am these days – still healing….still hoping….still questioning….still believing that God has more for this broken heart of mine.

Lent is a season of reflection. It’s not about the things we give up or add to these 40 days (though those can be helpful). These days before Easter are for pausing and remembering who Jesus was and is. They are for truly considering what we believe and why we hold to those beliefs. And they are days of surrender….of letting go of all we thought was ours and allowing God to teach us better ways of living and loving, “speaking truth when I can’t find it.”

It’s always a little daunting at the beginning of these 40 days – I’m never sure where we’ll end up – but I always know it will be so worth the effort. And as always, I treasure your companionship – let’s do this together. <3

Always,

Shellie

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Behold (Then Sings My Soul)

Hillsong Worship