One of my earliest memories is of sitting on my back porch step, talking to my dog, Roscoe.  And I wasn’t just talking, as much as I was pouring out my little heart to him.  I don’t remember what egregious violation had been committed against me (there are many when you’re a tender-hearted four year old!) but Roscoe was getting an ear full, and I remember telling him he was my only friend – that he was the only one who cared about me.  (Ok, so, I was a dramatic kid….)

I realized not too long ago that another one of my earliest memories took place on that same back step, and again, I was pouring out my heart, but this time it wasn’t to Roscoe (though I’m sure he was nearby.)  This time I remember looking up at the sky and talking to God.

I’ve tried to recall, without success, what the content of that prayer was, but it’s not a stretch to imagine it was very similar to my diatribe with Roscoe!  It really doesn’t matter – what I realized with that memory is that I’ve had an awareness of God quite literally all of my life, and not only an awareness, but a relationship……

I don’t know why God became so real to me at such an early age, but I am so very thankful.  The two of us weathered some tough childhood and teenage storms together, and I learned to trust Him completely.  I often didn’t understand why things happened, but my belief that God “had me” has always been secure.  Always.

If my childhood was dotted with storms, the last few years have been a combination of hurricanes, tsunamis, tornadoes & earthquakes!  And I have had a choice to make – as we all do – whether or not to continue to believe that God is truly “faithful forever.”  So, it’s with that in mind that I share this song by Chris Tomlin:

 “I lift my hands to believe again, you are my refuge, you are my strength.  As I pour out my heart, these things I remember….you are faithful God, forever.”  

I wish I could give my four year old self a great big hug, and thank her for being dramatic enough to believe God would hear her heart’s cry from the back step!  I think God knew….so long ago….that I would need a rock-solid faith to see me through these days.  There are still so many things I don’t understand, and I am beginning to think I just never will, but love, mercy, healing….are all taking place as I learn to trust again.

 He is the Healer, you know….I trust you can take a moment to be still and let that truth wash over you.

With love and rising faith,

Shellie  <3

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I Lift My Hands
Chris Tomlin