Have you ever had one of those deep, authentic heart to heart conversations you didn’t ever want to end? They usually go into the early morning hours and leave you feeling like you made a truly special connection. I’ve been blessed with many, and I pray to share many more….some of my very favorite memories!
Sometimes I just really want to talk to Jesus, don’t you? OK, so, I talk to him every day…I don’t mean prayer – I mean face to face, hear his voice, share a venti americano breve, talk ’til dawn and ask all the questions that my heart seeks answers to….
I envy the disciples the time they had with him, even though they still had no idea who he really was, and what he would become for all of us. And I’m sure, even if I had been one of those who got to be with him daily and had full access to all the conversation my little heart could hold, I’d probably be right there with the others, ignorantly shooing away the children and gently reminding Jesus that he probably shouldn’t really be hanging out with tax collectors and prostitutes! So in some ways….I’m oh so grateful to be on this end of history. Though the people closest to Jesus all those years ago got to see him, touch him and hear his teachings up close and personal, I really wouldn’t trade it for the knowledge I have now of his great love and sacrifice, of grace – and the intimacy of the heart relationship we share.
But…. if Jesus and I were hanging out on my couch tonight having one of those “talk ’til dawn heart to hearts….” these beautifully tender and honest lyrics are what I imagine he might be saying to me….
Of all the things I don’t know, I have come to believe this with certainty; Jesus knows where I’ve been. He knows the hopes and dreams I had that are now altered in ways I can’t begin to see yet. He understands that I don’t know how to get to where I’m supposed to be, that if I could, I would not only return to yesterday, but run like mad and bolt the door behind me! He knows all that about me….and yet he stays- and he loves me like no other.
I knew when I chose to share these very personal reflections throughout Lent that there would likely only be a handful of people who would be drawn to them – and I want you to know that I’ve been praying for you! If you’re in that hurting place of having to tell your heart to beat again….please join us on the couch, hit the play button and allow Him to love you in those places that need it so. <3
Stepping into grace with you…..
Shellie
Tell Your Heart To Beat Again
Written by Randy Phillips – Performed by Danny Gokey
Like you’ve never been before
The life you knew
In a thousand pieces on the floor
And words fall short in times like these
When this world drives you to your knees
You think you’re never gonna get back
To the you that used to beTell your heart to beat again
Close your eyes and breathe it in
Let the shadows fall away
Step into the light of grace
Yesterday’s a closing door
You don’t live there anymore
Say goodbye to where you’ve been
And tell your heart to beat again
Beginning
Just let that word wash over you
It’s alright now
Love’s healing hands have pulled you through
So get back up, take step one
Leave the darkness, feel the sun
Cause your story’s far from over
And your journey’s just begun
Tell your heart to beat again
Close your eyes and breathe it in
Let the shadows fall away
Step into the light of grace
Yesterday’s a closing door
You don’t live there anymore
Say goodbye to where you’ve been
And tell your heart to beat again
Let every heartbreak
And every scar
Be a picture that reminds you
Who has carried you this far
‘Cause love sees farther than you ever could
In this moment heaven’s working
Everything for your good
Tell your heart to beat again
Close your eyes and breathe it in
Let the shadows fall away
Step into the light of grace
Yesterday’s a closing door
You don’t live there anymore
Say goodbye to where you’ve been
And tell your heart to beat again
Your heart to beat again
Beat again
Oh, so tell your heart to beat again
Today was especially heartfelt, some days I due have to remember to breathe and not get overwhelmed from the past and solitude.
It can be so hard to let go of the past – even pain from the past. We’re learning to do it together…you aren’t alone!