Today is my 14th birthday. That is….it is the 14th time since my birth there has been a 29th day in February. =) All the other years I opt to celebrate on the 28th – well, I did, until around a decade ago when I suddenly realized I didn’t have to choose just one alternate day to celebrate, and I claimed both February 28 and March 1 as my twin birthdays. It’s a birthday week, really…..and I’m OK with that!
I’ve actually had lots of fun over the years being a “leap year baby” and don’t mind it at all – it makes for fun conversation, and…. did I mention the birthday week? =)
Celebrations – birthdays, holidays, special days – all have a different feel to them when there is a significant loss in one’s family, as many of you know all too well. Ours has been a family wonderfully full in all sorts of traditions, and birthdays have always been big deals! We have the “birthday box” of decorations that gets added to year by year, the same re-used birthday banners and oh so tacky centerpieces that have graced many a birthday dinner table. There is a singing, dancing birthday hamster that no birthday would be complete without, (and yes, we do dance with the little rodent, if you can imagine…which it’s probably best you don’t…)
Just as we’re doing with everything else in our lives, family celebrations will go on – just in different ways, and always….always missing the fourth Warren (who could reach the highest places to tape up the birthday banners!) It can honestly be hard to muster up the joy and excitement that these special days once brought, and that’s totally normal, I know. Joy mingles with sorrow so frequently that the mixture takes on a life of its own and sometimes leaves us wondering what “normal” will ever be again.
Well, I don’t know what that might be yet, but I do know that God is tenderly healing my heart, one day at a time – one birthday at a time – and it has much to do with the love and kindness of others. Like the friend who not only invited me to her church’s women’s conference, but dropped off a paid ticket and told me there would be a place for me at her table. And the loving, special women who attended a recent party in my honor on a beautiful Saturday afternoon, and the thoughtful and caring staff and students at the high school where I work who flooded my desk with decorations, flowers, gifts and a yummy birthday cake to share. It’s not the “things” that touch me the most (though I do love me some presents!) but it’s the thoughtfulness and care that they represent – we have so much more power than we realize to impact the lives of others! A kind word….a smile….a helping hand….a prayer lifted….a hand on the shoulder….all such powerful affirmations, especially to those who are in need of care – which is all of us, really. =)
As I reflect on the past year, I also realize how far we’ve come – how far I’ve come, and it honestly surprises me a bit! Healing seems to be happening at such a snail’s pace it’s nearly imperceptible at times. But it IS happening – not without great effort and not without a whole tribe of support – but it is happening…..
I’m so happy to share this particular song by the band “For King & Country” today because the words speak to the voice in our heads that tries to make us believe that healing and freedom are so much further away than they really are. At some point, we all hit our limit, we all feel defeated, but take heart….truth tells us it’s not over yet!
It’s Not Over Yet
For King & Country
You got a voice that says
You won’t get past this one
You won’t win your freedom
It’s like a constant war
And you want to settle that score
But you’re bruised and beaten
And you feel defeated
This goes out to the heaviest heart
Oh, to everyone who’s hit their limit
It’s not over yet
It’s not over ye-et
And even when you think you’re finished
It’s not over yet
It’s not over ye-et
Keep on fighting
Out of the dark
Into the light
It’s not over
Hope is rising
Never give in
Never give up
It’s not over
Ye-et-et, woah
Ye-et-et, woah
Oh, game set match
It’s time to put it in your past, oh
Feel the winter leavin’
It’s redemption season
Long live the young at heart (Here we are)
Cheers to a brand new start (Here we are)
We’re revived and breathing
To live a life of freedom
Oh, to everyone who’s hit their limit
It’s not over yet
It’s not over ye-et
And even when you think you’re finished
It’s not over yet
It’s not over ye-et
Life is a race we run
So run till the race is won
Don’t you ever give up (Here we are)
Oh no never give up (Here we are)
Life is a race we run
So run till the race is won
Don’t you ever give up (Here we are)
We will never give up (Here we are)
Oh, to everyone who’s hit their limit
And even when you think you’re finished
It’s not over yet
Oh, to everyone who’s hit their limit
It’s not over yet
It’s not over ye-et
And even when you think you’re finished
It’s not over yet
It’s not over ye-et
Keep on fighting
Out of the dark
Into the light
It’s not over
Hope is rising
Never give in
Never give up
It’s not over
Ye-et-et, woah
Ye-et-et, woah
Ye-et-et, woah
Ye-et-et, woah
Thanks for sharing the song. It is good to be reminded that God has a special plan for us all. You are truly a blessing.
Really a neat song. It helps to be reminded that we need to keep going. You are a blessing:)
Great song and favorite verse from Jeremiah. His plan for each of us is so much better then we can imagine.
You are right, Shellie. The healing is so slow that it seems to standstill. Fourteen years out and I still have some bad days, but they are mostly bittersweet. With each new milestone in our lives, I always wonder what it would be like if Kyle was still here. I pray for you and your family every day because I know the journey is difficult and long. God ‘s arms are holding you up. Much love to you.
Bless you, Pam! I think of you so often as well – and I thank God for the companionship on the “long and difficult journey.” <3