According to my vast scientific research on the lateralization of brain function and the effects of right brain versus left brain thinking……oh, who am I kidding? According to the survey I took on Facebook this morning… =), I lean toward 60% right-brained thinking and 40% left.
Not really surprising, actually. I definitely see myself as more of a creative, visual, sensitive, emotional, intuitive kind of girl. But I also have all of my pants neatly hung facing the “right” direction in my closet and my daily lists have sub-lists (with bullet points!) You could just as easily find me at Staples happily filling my cart with organizational desk supplies as at Starbucks sitting with a friend for hours because one of us just really needs a good heart-to-heart. And I’m OK with that about myself. Sure, it makes me a bit….conflicted, at times, but that’s how God designed me, and I’m happiest just embracing the fact that some days I’m more “right” than “left” and some days I’m more “left” than “right”, and some days I’m just…. thoroughly confused!
As I maneuver through these days of loss and healing a typical conversation between myself and God might go something like this:
“Good morning, God. Please help me to trust you today….I really want to be able to just trust you.”
“Then trust me.”
“OK….but you know how much it hurts, right? You know how sometimes I can’t think or even hardly breathe – do you know how hard this is?”
“Yes….I know.”
“Then you understand how none of it makes sense….I’ve served you all my life and it wasn’t supposed to go like this. It isn’t ordered. It isn’t fair.”
“Yes, Shellie. I understand.”
“But you know how much I love you. I truly, truly love you. And I’m trying so hard to understand what I’m supposed to do….how I’m supposed to move ahead….how I’m supposed to heal.”
“Yes….I know.”
“So….will you help me trust you today? I can’t do it alone….will you stay with me?”
“Always.”
Life is hard. We get hurt. We face disappointments and loss. But that only represents what happens TO us….not what happens IN us. God is in the business of redemption! All the chaos and confusion of life doesn’t have to define who it is we truly are, and who it is we are in the process of becoming. God does this thing….a miraculous thing, really….where all of the hard things of life are reorganized, realigned and re-imagined to produce incredible beauty. The process can be slow….sometimes years in the making….but the results are even more the beautiful.
I love these lyrics and simple melody by Gungor. God makes beautiful things from what seems like nothing….just dust. And God makes beautiful things out of us!
Beautiful Things
Gungor
All this pain
I wonder if I’ll ever find my way
I wonder if my life could really change at all
All this earth
Could all that is lost ever be found
Could a garden come up from this ground at all
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of the dust
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of us
All around
Hope is springing up from this old ground
Out of chaos life is being found in You
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of the dust
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of us
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of the dust
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of us
You make me new, You are making me new
You make me new, You are making me new
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of the dust
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of us
