I’ve never been a big hobby person. I tried collecting stamps when I was eight and a family friend gave me his album with stamps from all over the world….but I lost interest when I realized I’d never, ever, be able to collect every stamp that had ever existed, thereby making it impossible to eventually have a “complete” collection. And yes….you may detect a bit of bloggerary foreshadowing here….
There are lots of things I enjoy doing, but I’m pretty content not doing them too, so I don’t really relate well to people who are passionate about their interests or hobbies. That is, unless……one might consider…… s o r t i n g……to be a hobby?
Ok, this might be one of those “didn’t really need to know that about you, Shellie” deals, but there really is a point, so just tag along for the ride! =)
One thing I really, really like to do is sort. Well, also —categorize—0rganize—group—pile. It can be called many things, but it all makes me feel happy and well…..at peace. Also in control, but in a good way, not in a “don’t you dare put that fork in the spoon slot” way, though that probably would get my attention, now that I think about it!
This weekend I am at a beautiful condo at Lake Tahoe where I and a friend (who shares my sorting inclinations!) will be preparing and serving meals to a group of great women who are here to do some intensive retreat planning. And the thing that is important to know about this situation (for the purpose of this blog anyway) is that we have use of a beautifully appointed kitchen….with lots of empty drawers and cupboards. That means we got to blissfully reorganize the entire kitchen and put everything in “right” order, at least as interpreted by us. =)
Now the bags are emptied, the fridge is full, the fruit bowl is artfully filled, the counters are clear and it feels……right. And I’m sitting here, finally resting at the end of this long day……wondering why it feels….right. Why do I find satisfaction in putting things in order?
And this is what very quickly comes to mind…..
I’m generally uncomfortable with discord. It makes me feel anxious and uncomfortable, and like I really need to find a way to fix it, and quickly. I think that’s why I often fall into the role of peacemaker. When there is conflict….I try to sort it out…..categorize it…..and file it away. Clear the counters, so to speak.
But to be honest, there are times that I grapple with “spiritual dischord” as well. Sometimes it’s a passage of scripture that I can’t quite wrap my head around, or a depth of understanding that I don’t feel ready to acknowledge. And sometimes it’s just the not knowing what the future holds, though I know God “has my back” in all things, it’s not placed neatly in the pre-determined cupboard or stowed away in the appropriate drawer where I can retrieve and examine it, maybe even….control it. (sigh)
I love it when from out of nowhere God helps me understand something new, and tonight, I think it’s me and my counter clearing! And once again I feel so very grateful that as I “draw near” to God, God always…..not occasionally or just on Sundays or on the days I’m particularly full of insight….but always “draws near” to me in return.
And THAT I can file away with confidence. =)